Do you ever have the feeling that something is about to happen? And that something, be it big or small is going to chance the current course of your life.
What’s more, you know something should happen, but you are not sure if you want something to happen, or if you think the something is good or bad, or just … something.
Kind of like the feeling that you are either seeing the light at the end of the tunnel or the headlight of an oncoming train, but you are not sure what it is just yet?
That’s kind of what I’m feeling right now, and it’s making me a little uneasy.
Yesterday morning I was feeling pretty chipper.
The day stretched ahead of me with nothing in it, except I did need to unload and reload the dish washer, throw in a couple loads of laundry and write a news story. Other than that I was all clear.
After waking up a former NASA astronomer for information about the story (apparently astronomers work at night and sleep during the day) and spending two hours putting together the report of summer star parties it was 11 a.m. but …
Most of the day stretched ahead of me with nothing in it. Well sure, I needed a shower and I had to go buy some spray paint for a scrapping project, plus the laundry and dishes still needed attention but …
At noon after the shower I sat down to eat a bowl of soup and watch “Mission Organization” while feeding stray bits of meat to Djin I realized some of the day had slipped away. I still needed to go shopping before tackling the projects in the house but I still had time, except the phone was ringing, and it was work, with one question, then it was Standard Optical with another question, then it was work again with yet another question and it was the Relief Society President reminding me I was late for our weekly meeting which starts at one and usually lasts two hours and I had thought was not going to happen because she was going to be out of town this week.
However, I was already dressed and ready to go since I was just heading out the door to go shopping for spray paint.
Okay, so now it’s 3 p.m. and the day is no longer stretching ahead of me with nothing in it. DS-8 and I make a run to the store to pick up spray paint, nabbing something for supper on the way home.
What with eating and watching re-runs of “Darma and Greg” before I knew it, it was time for “Survivor; Fiji.”
But CSI was a re-run and I could still make the bed and clean the kitchen and get a load of laundry going but then again as I was making the bed I saw the phone and realized I had planned to call K to follow up on something that happened in the meeting and we got to talking and …
Well now, it’s 9:15 p.m. the boys need me to tuck them into bed and I still want to watch the DVR copy of “Grey’s Anatomy” and “E.R.” I recorded because I was planning to unload the dishwasher and throw a load of clothes into the washing machine and DH is due home from his second job any minute.
Which is to say yesterday was just your average day.
But several things were said during the meeting and during my discussion with K afterwards that made me think of marriage and families, and making decisions, and charting your life’s course.
As a result, I am now thinking a change is on the horizon and I’m not really sure where I’m going to fit a change into my open days with nothing in them.
But I can’t spend a lot of time thinking about it today. The day stretches ahead of me with nothing in it but a few loads of laundry and a kitchen to clean. O yes, since I now have the spray paint, maybe I can start on that scrapping project …