Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Now I have honey in my hair

Things never go as planned in my world.
The thing least likely to go as planned is resolutions to clean house. I don’t like to do it, so I am easily distracted.
Yesterday was a perfect day for cleaning. I had blocked out several hours for a Relief Society meeting, but the president called and canceled the meeting.
The dish washer was loaded, the master bed was stripped and sheets were doing the clean dance in the washing machine.
I was in the process of hanging a quilt on the wall ~ the better to insulate the room during winter months ~ when I spied my two drawer filing cabinet doubling as a bedside table.
It looked like crap.
Seized with a fit of … well just a fit, as it happened, I decided it was a good time to cover the file with Mod Podge and paper.
I had left over blue and brown MME Bohemian from making my Mother’s Christmas project. And in the time it takes to say “hey, what do ya think you’re doing!” I had opened my trusty bottle of Mod Podge and was slapping a layer of it on the top of the file cabinet.
Unfortunately the file cabinet was warped, and the paper ended up bubbling.
Ginger, our Siamese kitten, thought the swishing motion of the brush was excellent fun and decided to play with me.
I was not amused.
I unloaded the file cabinet ~ (that’s right, I hadn’t unloaded it first, in fact it was still standing in the corner next to my bed) ~ hauled it into the kitchen and began the soaking / peeling process necessary to remove the paper mess.
Ginger thought eating paste covered paper was a great idea, so I cleaned it up with my new carpet sweeper. When I went to dump the hopper I ended up dropping the paste into Ginger’s cat dish.
I quickly emptied the paste covered cat food, washed out the dust pan of the carpet sweeper before the glue and paper became a permanent part of the apparatus and started once again to apply paper on the file cabinet.
Swishing paste, swatting at stray paws and swearing softly and steadily under my breath I managed to apply a sheet of SEI on one of the front drawers.
But it was buckling too.
I quickly put the drawer face down on the tile floor and weighted it down with the first heavy object I could get my hands on … a jug of honey sitting on the kitchen counter.
Alas, the children had not corked the honey particularly tightly and when I brushed my hair back from my face I ended up with honey in my hair.
I eventually managed to cover both drawers with paper and started hot gluing fabric on top of the cabinet. That’s when I burned my finger, started bawling and threatening to kill the cat.
I did not get the kitchen floor mopped.
I did not vacuum the living room.
I did not finish the laundry.
But, I didn’t kill the cat either, so all’s well that ends well.
After putting the cabinet back in its corner, hanging Christmas lights around the quilt, making the bed, excavating the closet and dragging all the laundry down to the basement I realized I was not going to achieve my goal for the day.
But the master bedroom does look a little better.


Amy Sorensen said...

And really...that quilt? Gorgeous! This entry was too funny and SO like my days---thanks for a needed giggle!

Wyo sis said...

I am on dial-up, so your page took an age to reaveal itself. I had time to speculate on your title. first I thought she spilled honey, then I thought maybe Dave quit his extra job. It turns out to have been much more complicated than I could have imagined. But I do like the quilt and lights idea.

pudding for brains said...

I can't believe it... You are my long lost twin. It is easy to be distracted with a crazy creative mind ticking away!!
My kitchen floor didn't get mopped either... (ha ha) I decided to re-docrate my entryway.
Smiles. Hugs. Crazy pills.

Ramona said...

Well, seems that things are the same with us scrappers all over the world. The day you described could be out of my diary, too!